Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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