So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
