May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You're like the curious george of whores
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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