Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
