i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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