legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
