so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
