Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
