You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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