Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
