i don't like sucking hair
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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