Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
