Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
