You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
