i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
His nipple licking is glorious
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