My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
