my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
