I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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