come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Randomize