I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
