Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
