my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
a search helicopter?!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
