found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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