The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
