The brown eye won't let me do that either.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
