Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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