i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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