I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
