Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm jealous of your bromance
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
