i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
