i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize