What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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