I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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