It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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