the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
