let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
