Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
