i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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