literally had 100 drinks last night.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
