Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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