I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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