We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
