so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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