This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
