A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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