I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
