Where is the hickey?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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