not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I need a hoe opinion
go on
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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