I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize