no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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