Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
