Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
