therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Randomize
