I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
