i think my tv is drunk
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Also, beer. Big fan.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
