before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
