i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
