Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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