well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
