I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Be still, my beating vagina.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
