just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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