You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize