I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
